Ahh, i remember the good old days. Back when stinkymeat was fresh off the presses and i was entranced by the adventures of a young Mr. Rudder and a plate of dead animal chunks. Then, the gods smiled upon the world and not only gave us Stinky FEET, but yet another stinky meat, which held great promise but was sadly eaten by feral marmots. And then there were the tests, sublime beyond all reckoning. I can trace my test addiction to that first sweet, free line of internet crack that was the death test. And don't even get me started on Sparkmatch, i'm still using variants of that sn, just as a tribute to how hooked I was.
But alas, all good things must come to an end. First it was my beloved sparkmatch, and those pathetic geeks (all cooler than me) I chatted with. The Good Mr. Rudder left, then the NEW IMPROVED sparkmatch was killed right when they were ready to release it. And suddenly all their tests are somehow crappier than past efforts, and sponsored by asswhore movies. I'm sure that the guys staffing the site are cool and all, but they seem to have lost the spark of creativity (pardon the pun). I now link them solely out of past alliegance. That and the fact that i'm a total dweeb who has nothing better to do than write about websites; for god's sake, what is wrong with me?
Oh, and now their tests all cruelly mock me, as evinced by the results of the LOVE test:
Hello, Romeo/Romea! You scored a...
79%
Love hurts, don't it? You're in pure love— the kind with sonnets and hovering cherubs— and you ache like an old man's back for your crush. The superficial things that other people care about— money, looks, body odor— don't hold much water with you. You wouldn't care if your dreamboat were the Exxon Valdez, so don't be surprised if you ever fall in love with an oily barge. Respect the twinkie, but don't ignore its needs.
Yeah, if i'm so in love, why is my heart leaking vital fluids all over the floor?! Asshats.
ED 5/1/03: So now that this post is extremely old i might as well mention that right before sparkmatch went down I posted probably the most intensely personal and honest opinion of somone I've ever written down. I was mortified that even with only 75 hours up, a couple people still found it and responded. That's what I've always found so strange about diaries: that if you really wanted it to be private, you wouldn't write that shit down. It's kind of like the forbidden fruit; i think a lot of people who write diaries kinda want to get stuff out there, but want to be absolved of the difficulty of actually having to say it. That was true in my case: I really needed to say what I said but instead of telling it to who i should have, which would have (hopefully) saved me a lot of trouble and heartache, I told it to a bunch of anonymous people online.
