I might get expelled from Cal Poly!
What day is it anyhow? Well, 10 weeks and we'll know.
[ED 7/3/03: Err, yeah, about that 10 weeks later thing...
Umm, I kinda bombed my math class, and by the terms of my probation, i must make C or greater on all my classes. Sooo... I'm out of EE.
The funny thing is, typing it here i feel nothing. When I talk to friends, and have to mention that the classes I'm taking aren't actually at Poly, I can't actually get around to mentioning it's because i can't take classes there currently. But typing it now, feh. Must be because I'm expelled from EE, whereas when i'm talking about classes, I'm not at Cal Poly. Y'see my problem is with EE, and the fact that i'm too stubborn and slow to do things when I know I should. Between the transfer process into psych taking a full year and EE chair Cirovic admitting "EE really sucks for a long time, but stay and it'll be worth it" I couldn't decide between the two, so I stayed where I was out of sheer indecision. (un?)Luckily, a year (fine, two years, but who's counting?) of 16 units of classes I hate & am horrible at and 15 hours of work kinda made the decision for me. Hmm, maybe I should pay more heed when people who actually enjoy what they're doing have to slow down. So yeah, I'm out of EE.
Notice i said EE, legally, i'm just home for the summer and not out of Poly until i try to enroll under EE for next fall. If I transfer into another department i'm right as rain, if a little screwed grade-wise. The problem is, I take my education seriously (aside from failing all my classes, that is) and don't want to waste and more of my time taking bullshit classes. So while Ag-business will take me, I'm not about to waste my parent's money paying tuition to take their half-assed classes. So unless I can somehow get into a department I like (namely Phil, but I don't quite meet what they want, and these last few quarters have hurt my credibility) i'll just save my money and take my bullshit classes where they're cheaper. This actually helps me get into psych, because they accept more transfers from outside than they do intra-dept. transfers. Yeah, I'm going into psych, or at least I can't think of anythign right now that would suit me better. If it seems like a huge change to you, sorry, going EE was overextending myself in one direction. The one thing I've been horrible at my entire life is working out math equations. I chose EE because i thought it would involve less math than physics, when I found out I was wrong I really should have reconsidered more seriously. The point is, I've spent two years (hell, the tail end of high school) focusing on things that emphasised my greatest weakness academically. i'm really sick of doing that and I forget how exactly i figured that taking subjects i hated in all but theory would lead me to a career I loved.
Well, that should be clarified. I still think i'd make a fine EE. Ask a lot of the people who actually work in it "2nd order differential wha?" I don't really need uber math skills for the job, just to get through the degree. The problem is that I'm so far behind now and that my plans have always involved a higher degree. Even assuming i could get into a grad program, the math would only get harder and the chances that i'd actually be required to use it increase. I'll never enjoy a job where i have to crunch numbers. So screw EE, I'll do psych. It's really the same thing, working with complex electrical devices that nobody understands. I'm just giving up the understanding complex designs to simply knowing it's REALLY complex and just screwing with it until it works right. Hell, the packaging on electronics is typically better than on your average psych ward patient. It's even the same plan, BS, major, maybe Ph.d and do research or industry. The only difference is that now i'm three years older than everyone, and start out screwed instead of immediately digging myself a nice hole .
Holy shit, this is like 4 paragraphs. If this were an assignment I'd be so happy with my progress. I guess anyone reading has dropped off by now, so if you have any questions ask me. I'll wanna hear your reaction anyhow, if only for the perverse humor I find in the situation. Oh, and if you happened to tell me once "You really should fuck up really bad in your life" that was probably the most ironic thing anyone's ever told me.]
P.S. I don't think anyone got this, but this was supposed to be a really good april fool's joke. You know, making a really huge announcement that's too ridiculous to take seriously. Well, the joke was that it wasn't really a joke, y'see? C'mon, that's like two or three levels of depth to the joke, that's just badass.
{ED 9/15/03: Well, since I'm updating to this post again I guess you have some idea of what happened. My transfer fell through and at this late date I cannot concieve of another thing I could possibly do to rescue it. Let me regale you with the tale.
So over summer I decided going into philosophy would be the perfect transfer, the phil dept here has NO standards and is actually teaching a subject I enjoy, compared to, oh, pretty much every class I ever took In EE. So I took a couple cuesta phil classes in hopes of beefing up my argument to get in. I was going to wait till the transcripts came in, but realized at the end of the quarter that they'd come in after I was supposed to sign up for classes. So I had to go to the dept at this late date without the transcripts. Turns out those classes don't actually count for anything at Poly anyhow, so wheee, I just wasted my summer. But that's okay; my Poly transcripts show pretty clearly that as long as I'm not doing calculus or related technical subjects I'm actually quite a solid student. So after going on vacation for a few weeks (that I didn't know about and was going crazy with the delay), the Phil chair talks to me again, realizes I'm very sincere about this and will do fine, and decides to let me in under contract. That's good, everything hunky dory. So I go in to sign the thing and she shows up late, looking very sad. She tells me that she just came back from the dean Of liberal arts, who just informed here that nevermind what she said earlier, she's going to refuse my transfer. This is very bad, I need that Dean's frickin signature. So I make an appointment and go talk to the dean. She tells me straight off she's seen people in my position before, and has made a special point to not let a single one of them through in her time as dean. Just wonderful, an administrator who makes it a point of pride to screw over students, can you see now why I love the school bureaucracy so much?
I kinda gave up for a bit, I mean the dean had told me to my face "You are not getting in, so don't try to convince me." Then I took a closer look at my transcript and realized I was on the very edge of teh technicality she was screwing me over on. Specifically, my GPA was .024 too low. that's point oh, like miniscule. More specifically, any increase in a class will get me over the threshold, I just need to improve one of my grades and I should be able to get in. I was considering getting my psych class grade changed earlier, but figured the matter was academic. I should have realized that "academic" was exactly what I needed to worry about. So I sent off a very neurotic e-mail to a teacher exploring the possibility. In very clear terms, I get a response saying no dice. Ehh, that's not too bad, that class didn't actually have a final, which is the only thing they'll usually reconsider after the fact. So after asking the various counselors about what goes into a grade change and waiting around for their responses, I am told that if I can get my GPA past her threshold, she will sign my transfer. Yay, that's very good news. So I send an e-mail to my psych professor, detailing the debacle that the last week of my quarter was and why I'm coming to him now. He e-mails me back saying that he thinks my reason for requesting reconsideration is valid, but It's now too late. I sent another one detailing that the same problem has been plaguing me all summer, and the other very good reasons I didn't bother him earlier in the summer. He sends another back saying that again, he agrees, but at this point there is no way that the deptartment will think this is justified, so there's nothing he can do about it. The bureaucracy strikes again. So that's where it currently stands, I'd need to somehow influence the psychology department to accept a grade change, when I'm pretty sure the only thing that would work for them would be my family dying or something. I have no idea where to start with that problem, especially in the half a week I have left.
So the one thing I didn't do at the beggining of the summer, because I didn't think it would do me any good, was the only thing I could have done all summer that would have helped me any. I take this as proof that the world hates me and that it has a dark, ironic sense humor. Now I have to waste a year going to the goddamn community college. I mean, I can use the break, but everything's easier than high school and there are TWO classes I can take that count towards anything; phil would have been a much nicer break. It's now just a matter of padding my GPA so I can transfer back into something, at Poly or otherwise. I dunno about that either, since transfer requests are due before the end of the semester, I'm afraid that they'll be going off the current GPA and not notice the fact that It'll have jumped like a full grade point after this semester. There's even less chance they'll notice that 2nd semester will have a similar jump. Okay, enough bitching, I think I'm done for now. Again, if you have any questions as to why I'm such a miserable failure, feel free to ask. I don't really care about answering any questions, the only thing I hate is having to break the news to people in person.}
