VADER: You cannot be a good driver forever, Travis.
Travis: I will not tailgate you.
VADER: Give yourself to the dark side. It is the only way you can save your friends 20 minutes on their commute. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for...
Vader stops and senses something. Travis shuts his eyes tightly, in anguish. VADER: Sister! So...you have a little sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Your driving instructor was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps she will.
Travis: Never-r-r!
Travis signals, then ignites his lightsaber and screams in anger, rushing at Vader's SUV with a frenzy we have not seen before. Yes, in this version Vader is a yuppie who drives a large SUV (after all, about the only thing an Excursion lacks is turbolasers "That's not a moon, THAT'S A CAR!") and drives at 60 in the fast lane whilst sipping lattes and chatting on his cell.
The rationale for this is that my sister just passed her driving test, without missing a single point to boot. Guess who else in our family did that? Congrats Katie... but you're still a doofus!
