I love people who STILL can't turn on a computer.
I mean, isn't that a prerequisite for being allowed to leave your house by now? It should be. I think I will organize a posse; we will go door to door with an old computer and quiz the residents on how to turn the damn thing on. If they cannot push the button, flip the switch or otherwise manipulate the only goddamn thing on the front of the computer that looks like it does something important they will be declared unworthy. At this point I will club them on the head with an old motherboard, we will shove them through their door and we will nail said door shut with 2x4, rebar and such. Then we will check on them again next week and repeat the procedure until they learn basic motor skills.
It is necessary for the good of the species!
