Random Crap, OF DOOOM!!  

My own little corner online, where I can hide all my belly-button lint.

I think I can stick links in here...
It appears so!
I never liked that archive crap anyway.
Maybe i should organize these into sections...
Yeah, that would be cool.

Artists to worship:
Robert Venosa
Alex Gray
M.C. Escher
Stanlislav Szukalski
Zdzislaw freaking Beksinski
Rene Magritte
Honore Fragonard (now mostly translated!)
Senor Zar
Ex-Python animator
Mr. Bird could beat up your mother AND a dinosaur
Ernst Fuchs (fyooks, you asshat)

Don't let your kids listen to:
Big Dumb Face
White/Rob Zombie
Collective Soul
Damn pretentious Canadians
Queens of the Stone Age

People with the misfortune of knowing me:
Teh w00tFr3d!!1!
Someone I don't really know but has good taste in TOOL, err, music.
My sister was dropped on her head.
The rest of my friends have too much self-respect for an online presence.

We dn't need no stikning spellchecker!

Fine, I'll archive this crap:

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So apparently the new "it" thing among aspiting hip-hop artistes is to do all your business in free-form. You know, in case the guy you're calling happens to own a recording label.

Here's how a call went today at work (Identities have been changed to protect the silly):

Sven: Housing, this is Sven.
Not me: Yo, how you doin' brother?
Sven: Just peachy, how can I help you?
Not me: Check it, I was wondering if you could check out my waitlist status for me (the dorms are horribly impacted, and you pretty much have to wait 2 quarters to get in)
Sven: Uhhh, okay, could I get your name?
Not me: Yo, this is Gbilla-zilla, mic thrilla, takin a chilla....to ask you how my wait status is.
Sven:....Okay, so is "zilla" spelled with 2 Ls?
Not me: Nah, G; my ID number is 3 to tha 5 to tha motherfarkin jive and the (further rappin cut to avoid betraying ID numbaz)
Sven: Are those "2 thas" numerals or figures of speech? One moment
(Enter hold and beaureaucratic wrangling)
Sven: Okay sir I have you at number #
Not me: Nah, yo. The Ho I talked tow said she'd got muh number bumped up because I applied early, you're givin me the hurly-burly, surely.
Sven: I....suppose I am, let me check.
(the obligatory hold and breakdance breakdown)
Sven: Errr, yeah, she's on the phone, I'll have to give her a message and have her call you back, could I get your mumber?
Not me: I'm in the XXX, yo, that's Pittsburg, CA, hey-ay, home of tha numba one killaz and tha dopest rhymez this side of compton.
Sven: Ahh, thanks Gbilla-zilla, I'll give this to her post-haste.
Not me: Coo, thanks G.
Sven: Peace out, homey.

So he was actually a little more clever. But I'm a white guy, no way can I reproduce such phat beats. And it's not my fault, he's the one who had to rap at some guy 300 miles away.

  posted by Travis @ 7:52 PM

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