Today, I had a day. It wasn't just a day, it was a day where SHIT WENT DOWN!
Mostly, I worked. It's like a 7 hour shift today, which isn't that bad I guess except my job BLOWS. Otherwise, it was a decent day, people weren't bothering me with dumb questions too much thanks to my "SURLY" t-shirt and the pair of pants I had were overly baggy (so baggy, in fact, that I rarely wear them) yet comfy, making my hours of web-surfing/paperwork cozy.
Anyhow, I was doing some filing. Yes, actual work! So I had these, like, file-thingies, and I was putting them in the appropriate "cabinets". I bent over a little and the aforementioned pantaloons decided this was a good moment to remind me why I disliked wearing them so much. They did this by developing a massive tear about a foot long over my ass. I don't have an ass like Steve's, so this was rather embarassing. Did I mention this was at work, with, like, people around? People who could now see the entirety of my ass, a large portion of my thigh and my underwear preference? It was only one or two people, but that's one or two people too many.
Fucking pants. I bet they were fucking commie pants. They weren't even old, worn out or tight. They obviously lacked the moral fibre of a TRUE AMERICAN and so they couldn't handle my glorious, patriot left buttock.
So I had to leave work to go home and get another pair of pants. This time, I got a pair that wasn't part of a goddamn communist conspiracy. Most of the office-folk were amused, but gentle when I returned to the office. However, when I got back to my desk, someone had left the lyrics to this song sitting on my keyboard. I bet whoever did it was a commie. Goddamn commies and their conspiracies!